Yeah, its been too freaking long and before you bang doors and wring my neck, allow me to excuse myself one more time. " One more time" -Daft Punk. :D But to balm your long suffering souls, I've got a guest writer in the house! Yeah, I'm awesome like that! He's totally new, so be gentle but I think his post is kick-ass! So without further ado, tri, the floor is totally yours! dum,dum,dum,dum.....
As I write
this it’s been two hours since sitting down to start writing. Thanks a bunch
sulpha (inside joke) you’ve wasted my Sunday afternoon. I’ve missed talk 360,haven’t had my ritual
Sunday afternoon nap, I haven’t even washed my lab coat; so this week when I’m
consistently dissed for my butcher-like lab coat (it still has some blood from
last week), just know who I’ll be cursing. Sorry, I’ve strayed too far, back to
the point: what to write? I’m still not
too sure about where this will take us, assuming there’s someone out there, but
I figure things will eventually work out. Fingers crossed.
Ahhh, okay.
I’ve got something, follow me down this hole Alice let’s see where we go. I’ve
been told on various occasions that I am an introvert. Well I’m not, maybe I
used to be, a few years ago, but I’ve been slowly shedding that tough pupal
coat and the butterfly is slowly emerging; yes, I did refer to myself as a
butterfly, a gangster butterfly to be more specific. Sure my Dr. Jekyll side
seems to kick in more often than Mr. Hyde but I tend to prefer it that way. Not
that there’s anything wrong about being a choleric but I feel like they are
misunderstood. So for the next couple of hundred words or so (or till you get
bored and disappear) I’ll try highlight the trials of being Dr. Jekyll. P.S:
for the slow ones google Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I would’ve have explained it
but I just don’t feel like, because I’m gangster, remember? Oh, and from here
on out we shall refer to the introvert/choleric as Dr. Jekyll. I think we have
covered all the bases, leggo!
To make this
simpler, I’ll put this in myth and fact kind of format, you know, like in those
TB ina tiba ads? Okay, minus the poorly scripted dialogue and the pathetic
acting. Speaking of pathetic acting, while channel surfing - it’s not really
channel surfing, there like only three channels, but I repeatedly go through
them to give me that ‘I have Dstv feeling’- I landed on Nation, some show
called The Hostel. Here I was thinking that it couldn’t get any worse than
inspector Mwala. I swear I died, reached the pearly gates, was sent back and
died again. Nowadays I live for pathetic shows, other than Kevin Hart and,
recently, Trevor Noah, nothing gets me laughing like that. It’s the simple
things (insert smiley face) Sorry, I digress.
Ok, onwards
onwards:
Myth number 1 – Dr. Jekyll is a snob
No I’m not!
Wait, sorry, no He’s not.
Fact: he or
SHE (new constitution, gender equality and what not) just likes to be prepared.
Dr Jekyll is like Clyde Shelton (the character from law abiding citizen). Okay,
minus the killing people part and blowing up hot chicks. Daktari likes to be
prepared, anticipate all possible responses, know how to guide the impending
conversation, know how to kill it (the conversation) when he/she gets bored,
knows what to say to keep the other party just interested enough or just bored
enough ( incase Daktari wants to kill the conversation). My point is: Daktari
is a sort of a “control freak” scratch that, he is not a control freak but a focused
conversationalist, sounds better. If you’ve had the pleasure, coz it is a
pleasure (insert smiley face), of being hit on by Daktari you sort of see what
I’m saying. That experience was sort of like an interview, but an interview you
didn’t mind attending. Sentence after sentence you found yourself being led in
a certain direction, you tried to veer off topic but you somehow found yourself
where Daktari wanted the conversation to end up, it’s like, when I move you
move, just like that (Insert Ludacris voice). It’s an art. To cut the story
short, Daktari is not spontaneous. He is a German engineer, meticulous planner,
pays great attention to detail and the results show for themselves: Monster
machines in like the SL 65 AMG series. He is not some Spanish Jorge (hohe?)
whose whole life revolves around a chic who’s not even that hot, and spends his
entire day crying about ‘his love’. ‘Nuh-tsing’, Dr. Jekyll is gangster! Or
gangstress (is that even a word?) I realize I’ve digressed yet again. Sorry.
So, anyway, doctor Jekyll is not a snob, if he just passes you by on the
corridor without as much a wave or even the subtle head nod, just know he
doesn’t have sufficient material to sustain a meaningful conversation. Emphasis
on meaningful! Sometimes he/she might oblige and stop to indulge you but you’ll
know Daktari is improvising (which he clearly isn’t good at) that conversation
will go south faster than a stripper on a ‘Mheshimiwa’. Should you find
yourself in such a situation (trust me you’ll know it), whereby you start
discussing the blackness of your shoes, just end it. Save yourself the agony
and Daktari the culture shock.
Myth Number
2: Dr Jekyll is ‘too serious’
Fact: Hehe,
if only you knew. The fact that Daktari doesn’t talk much doesn’t mean he’s
plotting for world peace and or domination in whichever order comes first (read
Pain, Nagato Pain). He is just keeping his madness to himself. Loosen Daktari
up and you will be surprised. From my experience, wait scratch that, from my
research, Daktari will reveal Mr. Hyde when he’s either too excited or
frustrated. Meet him after a tiring day of surgery where some nutty professor
(no pun intended) has been hounding him to show him his tape measure in the
middle of a teaching or chased him out to get a tie and other ish like that. Or
worse still, (S) said (i) professor (you dig?) has insisted that daktari
describe the embryological development of the abdomen; as in seriously?! That’s
when the screws come undone and the ‘beast’ is released, daktari’s very own
Sasha fierce comes out. You get to see that side of him/her, the joker, who’ll
reverse roles and instead insist on asking you. “Why so serious?” but at least,
unlike the movie, it won’t involve your face being cut up. Daktari might be a joker sometimes, but never
violent; Dr. Jekyll is a lover not a fighter. J - I know its high-school girlish but
I couldn’t resist, sue me!
Myth #3: Dr.
Jekyll is boring
Well maybe
true, but (and a big one at that) boring is relative. It depends on what you
perceive fun to be. For you, fun could entail getting ‘maard’ wasted on a
Friday night at a club in westy, wait you are too cool to go to westy anymore
since it’s been overrun by horny kids, but you catch my drift. Fun involves
lots of booze, dimly lit clubs with a thick atmosphere that’s a mix of smoke
and an assortment of fragrances that would make Jean Baptiste ( from Perfume –
the story of a mass murderer!) murder everyone in that club, men included, just
for overworking he’s already supersensitive olfactory nerves. Don’t get me
wrong, Daktari also likes to have a good time, just not each and every day. He
sometimes releases Mr. Hyde, albeit on a tight leash, goes out with friends
enjoys a drink or two, bumps his head to the music (Dr. Jekyll is gangster,
gangster’s don’t dance!), tries his luck with the slightly ataxic (utajuaje ni
Daktari?) girl on the dance floor who’s had one too many but that’s just it, he
does it once in a while. Just to be clear, the latter is referring only to the
male version of Dr. Jekyll. Female Dr Jekyll isn’t gay, she’s Dr Jekyll! For
the umpteenth time: Daktari is gangster! Gangster’s aren’t gay! Back to the
main road; Dr Jekyll’s idea of an evening well spent could be snuggling up in
front of the computer with a duvet and watch naruto till 6am. Not just because she/he is an intellectual
bad ass –we, I mean they, (hehe) declined the derogatory term ‘nerd’- but
because Dr Jekyll is deep. Someone who loves the artistry and finesse that goes
into the plot of most Japanese anime. The richness of the story and the effort
put into character development and the storyline in general, plus the token big
chested female characters aren’t too bad an addition (male Dr Jekyll, keep up!)
Dr Jekyll understands the value of solitude, the peace it brings to a troubled
mind. Ps, someone at ‘the hostel’ should watch anime and see how to develop a
plot, just a thought.
Anyway, I could go on and on debunking myths about Dr Jekyll, but I’m tired. It’s almost pumpkin time and I’m all out of glass slippers. In any case my feet are too big plus I need to get back to reality; that I’m a 3rd year medical student, which means I’ve got tones of work to read and seeing as I’ve spent a good part of my ‘intended’ reading time on this thing it’s only fair I recover the time ‘while you were sleeping’ (I think that’s the title of that movie).
You still
wonder about that certain Dr. Jekyll you see daily? I’ll leave you with this:
The setting
is 19th century Europe, on a cold night in London. The maniacal
actions of a German terrorist (why are the bad guys always Germans?) with a
penchant for anarchy and world domination forces the unlikely assembly of a
league of extra-ordinary individuals in an underground hall. Their meeting is
interrupted by the enemy’s minions who set upon them with unrelenting gunfire.
One of them sneaks up on an unsuspecting Dorian gray and let’s off a round in
that mother #shut your mouth# (I was born in the era of GTA) but to his
surprise Mr. Gray just looks on unscathed. He takes out his sword and slits the
guy’s throat and just before the guy dies he asks Mr. Gray “What are you?” to
which Mr. Gray smoothly replies:”I’m complicated”
