Tuesday, 20 September 2011

The Girl code or something like that....


I’ve been having a weird couple weeks, what with the writer’s block, the CATS breathing down my neck and girl dramas but I’m still here. Sir G.O.D hasn’t yet crossed me out as expired so I get to still placing my prints all over the place...
patter patter
life is a box of chocolates...
Now as we all know when you meet people who have similar tastes, opinions, likes, dislikes and ideals as you,  friendship is usually on the cards. Then you get lucky enough to get a couple of girlfriends who all may be different from each other but somehow just jell. Like peanut butter and jelly. Peas and carrots. Chocolate and vodka. J  Life should be swell, right? Right?
Well depends... I have an amazing, wonderful, fantastic group of girlfriends ( now y’all can feel tickled pink, I know y’all are reading this {southern belle accent})  We get along fine, have awesome and not so awesome moments. Heck we even got a nickname in school, making me feel like I’m in a clique (which we are sooooo not!) But you’ve got to realise even though we are close, we respect each other’s boundaries. Know how far you can prod before you cause permanent damage, because when a member of the female species decides to hold a grudge, yaani leo ni leo and you get the “You’re dead to me” look, just know you are royally screwed. I should know, I’m female and I’ve held grudges before, some are still highly valid. Yes, I have faults, so sue me. For the record I’m also pretty mean too but I suppress it as much as possible.

Back to the main thing, remember boundaries. There’s only so far you can go before you burn bridges. So here’s Girl Code For Dummies:
1.   Thou shall love, respect and care for each other.
Kinda self explanatory. I mean, why else would you want to be and keep being friends in the first place? Of course there are those weird frienemies around but they aren’t included here. That’s for another day.

2.   Thou shall listen to thy fellow sister’s peeves ( Whether in agreement or not)
Every lady knows what I’m talking about. That build- up you feel when someone irritates, offends or hurts you and you just need to let it all out if not to fix it but to feel better. That’s where your close friend comes in, to listen and  empathise. Note: To empathise. Not to criticize, or to reason it out or to downplay it, you hear! If she wanted to do all those things she would have sat quietly in a corner and done that for herself. If Amy and Bernadette in Big Bang Theory could figure that out and they are kind of socially challenged, sembuse wewe? In related news, I love that show, which makes me a bigger geek than I thought, damn! So if your friend bursts into your room with eyeballs bulging out and nostrils flaring and she’s this close to turning into a raging bull, you know what to do.

   3.Thou shall not date thy sister’s exes or her male pals no matter how hot they are (unless of course she gave you the go ahead)
Many a friendship have been torn asunder due to the male species. Mark my words-many! No one thinks that will ever happen to her or her best buds until it actually does. It’s like we are naturally territorial over dudes with whom we shared an emotional bond, like the way lions pee on shrubs or trees around their habitat to ‘announce’ to all and sundry that that’s their space.  Same thing. Of course if it’s some unknown chick, we can suppress that territorial possessive nature because society demands it to be so. But with your friend with whom you are more free with, it’s harder to repress the urge to rip her head off, and if she really wants the dude, the friendship- breakup may be deemed necessary for order to prevail again. She gets to date him, and you don’t feel like ripping her head off. It’s a win-win situation. Highly related- Thou shall not pussy-block (I think it applies to us too) thy fellow sister with a prospective dude. Especially replacing her with yourself. It just shows you have self- esteem issues. Really. All your friends will just feel sorry and embarrassed on your behalf.

  4.Thou shall be happy for thy fellow sister’s achievements
She won the Noble Peace prize. Sing her praises on live television. She just gave birth. Visit her, with gifts for both her and her bundle of joy and croon over it and tell her it’s the most adorable baby you’ve ever seen. She got her degree, you will congratulate her, and definitely take her out. She got a new hairstyle, compliment her. She bought something new, tell her it’s amazing. Don’t belittle her achievements or be so self- centred that your first reaction is to be best buds with the green-eyed monster.

  5. Thou shall freely give a leaning shoulder to thy fellow sister to cry on.
 Sometimes can really kick your gluteus maximus to the point that all you want to do is crawl up in bed and time to pass you by. That’s where friends come in. To listen to your woes, to provide that very-needed hug and to help you get back on your feet. They’ll help you take your mind off those dismal exam results, that ugly break-up or that fall-out you had with some acquaintance. However don’t take it for granted and overdo it, your friends’ shoulders have a limit to how much they can carry. This brings me to...

  6. Thou shall NOT take advantage of a sister’s kindness and forget to reciprocate.
Remember everyone can only do so much, so don’t be too self-centred to the point it becomes a one-sided give and give friendship. And to make matters worse you rarely show appreciation, acting like it’s a right? And you wonder how come you come your friends are slowly growing distant? How now?
You've got to remember friendship is a two way street!
spreading the love all round!
I’ve got to stop here for now since I need to flop into my bed right about two hours ago, so I’ll leave you with this 6. Plus I’ve got to research more and get more points on the girl code. However you’ve got to realise that unlike the boy code, the girl code is highly versatile and might change as soon as tomorrow. J

New thingies :
v Gained two kilograms! That’s it, no more fries! Healthy eating from now on.
v New song:- Wretch 32 feat Josh Kumra: Don’t go!
This song speaks to my soul, I feel like I’ve been stripped to the core with it. Maybe that’s why I haven’t yet told Warau about it. Already Liz thinks its creepy (it’s not!)
  See you when you see me!
abby
  


No comments:

Post a Comment