Blaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

This was my state two days ago. Life looked really bleary till I had chocolate. Chocolate does wonders..........    

I’m lost. I feel crazy, scared, conflicted, restless, bored or just depressed. I’m talking to myself again. Not just talking, having bloody conversations with myself! This is baaaaad. Wine isn’t helping and there’s chocolate in the house that I can’t touch. CHOCOLATE! Who cares about opening a gift basket on Christmas I need it now! Besides Christmas is not as fun as it used to be. I want to scream, to throw things, to dance, to kiss a boy and still have conversations with myself. My God, I’m going mad. Not just the funny bananas one, nooooo the white strait jacket in the psychiatric ward mad. I need direction in my life, a bit of spontaneity. Life no longer makes sense. It’s not fun anymore. Not FUN! Maybe if I ran away from home. Yeah right, and have my dad driving all over Nairobi looking for me. The drama of Christmas 2009 courtesy of my brother reloaded.

I need a life. I mean, how can my conversations be largely based on cartoons (I still love cartoons though) and ‘remember when’s? I swear my life had an ounce of meaning like 2 months ago. ARRRRRGH! So how’ve you guys been?