First of all, SALUTATIONS!!!!!! Since being
shipped off to our ancestral lands, an internet connection has been slightly
hard to come by. After failing repeatedly to guess my father’s laptop password
(yeah, we all tried and all our guesses failed!) I have been forced, forced I
tell you, to ask for the laptop. Downright asking people! I would have like to
say that it took several hours, sore knees, empty promises, and hoarse voices
to get it. Throw in one or two tantrums, but nope. Actually it was quite simple,
just
“Dad,
can I borrow your laptop?”
“What
for, you want to surf?”
“Yes,
but first I have to write a document.”
“Oh,
okay.”
JUST LIKE THAT! I’m still speechless. I
guess it’s true what they say, men just need to be told what you want and
they’ll give it to you. Hmm… who knew? New lessons learnt every day.
Back to me, so the other day whilst waiting
for my already late friend to show up for an afternoon excursion (I’m English like that) I popped in to a restaurant kill
time. Let’s be honest, there are very few places in town where you can just bum
and still look sophisticated, or with it, or not a Nairobi jobless nigger or
pickpocket. If you do know such places, please help a sister out! Anyway after
discovering my friend was going to be uber late whilst I was already at the
very place we were to meet, I was at a dilemma. Where to go, where to go…
Already being on Biashara Street I thought of going, guess where…the Lifestyle
lounge. Do not ask me why I didn’t think of Greenview fish fingers or that Lifestyle
Lounge has been closed for some time I DON’T KNOW! All I was thinking of was
some beef I had once had at the Lounge and that’s its balcony was safe for
people-seeing at a table for one. Yes, I am not afraid of eating by myself, a
girl’s gotta eat, especially when she’s craving a particular dish and doesn’t
have time to go through her phonebook looking for company. Well, needless to
say reaching there and meeting a closed Lifestyle Lounge merited a plan B, FAST. I did what I could only do at
such short notice, move forward to the other eateries on the street. DO NOT ask
me why Greenview didn’t pop up in my head!
Picture that street- I forget its name-
where Nakumatt Lifestyle and Galitos are. Where that famous guy who hawks socks
is found. Where there’s the furniture shop which has the big circular bed which
I have a feeling can revolve round if you want and it has so many little
drawers and the shop owners rarely dress it with a nice colour scheme! I think
MKU is located there, or is it Multimedia? Okay we all have a good idea where I
am. I didn’t want fast food, so cancel all the fast food joints on that street.
Now to the right of lifestyle lounge there are two places which serve
‘traditional African dishes’. The first place I didn’t like the colour of their
seats, plus they were wooden therefore hard. I want my tooshy to be
comfortable. I entered the second one for two reasons. One, there was no other
restaurant on that street and I didn’t want to look lost. Two, the two men in
front of me entered it like it was their usual joint so I trusted their silent
walk of approval. The minute I stepped into the restaurant the waiter at the
door welcomed me with a smile and a greeting in Kikuyu. Kikuyu, I kid you not. I kind of look Luhyia and that
thought usually holds water just by looking at my legs, but Kikuyu? I almost
turned back. I soldiered on, then that funky smell hit me. Every particle in my
body was already out of the door and walking opposite the street to Galitos but
my whole being was being seated at a table. I was weak. I couldn’t turn back.
So I sat down and prayed that the food poisoning would get me at home. I
ordered fried meat with rice. The waiter was really nice. Ordered a glass of
juice to go with my meal. Then waited. With
bated breath. Like walking down a dark alley where you know there is a
99% chance you will be mugged but stubbornly making your bet on that 1%. You
know what? That 1% won! The food was really good. So good that I decided to
write about it! The food was fresh, the meat was really good. Like really good
(picture my eyes all popped out and me nodding enthusiastically) The price
pocket friendly, and the service made me smile.Bonus- No food poisoning! Well Gallrix Restaurant
pleasantly surprised me. I was happy.
The
reason why my friend was late was because she had to pick up her hubby up
first. The reason why I wasn’t mad was because I understood she had to spend
some ‘alone’ time with her special guy, plus less time spent third wheeling. Which
brings me to this- TACKLING
THIRD-WHEELING.
Now when you’ve been single for as long as
I have you will or have been involved in being the extra, the third wheel so to
speak. I have been third wheeling since the time when boys and girls began to
see each other no longer as enemies. Yes, since class seven. At first you
resent it which makes you avoid it at all costs. Eventually, you don’t make
such a big deal out of it, heck you even have fun at such moments. Here’s
how...
First of all this is not for the faint
hearted; neither is it for those wishing to leave the single life. If you
completely detest such moments I suggest you DO avoid them because all you’ll do is seep your bile into the
gathering and leave a bad taste in everyone’s mouth. So this is not for you.
This is for the single girl who is pretty content in their own skin and their
current relationship status. Plus you want to keep your friends and you might
gain a new one too so no harm done.
1. Be open: Yes, she’s coming with her boyfriend or he’s coming over while
you’re hanging out at her place. You do not need to bolt. Well, sometimes you
will have to if the situation calls for it. However most of the time it’s going
to be a simple meet up. You don’t have to see yourself as an intrusion or he’s
interrupting your girl-time. Think of it like meeting a new friend or an
acquaintance who is going to be your friend. Do not act like a dog in a manger.
Acting all mad and sullen. You can go with two options: go dumb and observe or
talk like a parrot and be observed!
2. Make friends: Your friend’s boyfriend isn’t an alien from space! He’s just a
person who your friend likes, not to take her away from you. You may be
surprised about how much you both have in common. After all one common
denominator is your friend! There are a couple of dudes whom I met through
dating my friends and are now my homies!!!! Plus, they may also have other cute
friends which lead to jackpot!!! But you can’t be too close to them, you do not
want to mess a good thing. You know what I mean. If you don’t, post a comment,
I’ll explain in detail.
3. Be interesting: Why be boring? Be you. You don’t have to impress this guy, he isn’t
yours to. Talk your heart away but don’t embarrass your own friend. You’re
there to represent your friend and all her other friends. Remember the saying,
‘Show me your friends and I’ll show you who you are’? Yep, you’re representing.
No pressure. Most of the time, your friend’s significant other is also trying
to impress you too so he won’t give you a hard time.
4. Learn to turn a blind eye
and a deaf ear: Yes, you will have to learn this
skill. You will have to do it in such a way that it doesn’t look awkward. You
have to be graceful about it and also learn to anticipate them. Couples tend to
be mushy at times, some more predictable than others. Don’t let it get to you;
just take it as a natural flow of things.
Every couple should be allowed to show affection for each other without
being made to feel like it’s wrong or they should feel stifled because you’re
there. A peck here, some sweet nothings there and your own phone should be your
best friend. Most couples will not intentionally make you feel truly
uncomfortable by going full on PDA. If they do, then your friend is
intentionally being a bitch prick.
5. Don’t take things too
personally:
When you all go out, remember your friend is really trying to balance
her attention between you two the best way she can. Unfortunately there will be
moments when you will be left up in the air so to speak. Don’t fret nor whine.
Keep yourself occupied. It’s just for a while. It’s not to intentionally
exclude you.
6. Conversationist needed: This is the perfect time to make fun of your friend. Do not look
this gift horse in the mouth! And of course you can both gang up and make fun
of the dude too. Or come up with an incredible back-story as to how the two of
you became friends. Watch out! This could also be applied to you too! Be a good
sport about it. J
7. Be a team-player: Make your friend look good. Don’t be that girl. The one whom no one wants to introduce to their
boyfriends. Please do not be that hussy who flirts with her friend’s dudes and
ends up ruining one too many relationships just because of jealousy. Be good.
Be kind. Have a good heart. It costs you nothing. Plus the universe will give
you exactly what you dish out.
Sharing my little pearls of wisdom on this
issue should make it a bit easier for some of us little ladies or should I say
women. Remember Louisa May Allcot? J Besides, it
is just for a little while, and you will need your friends to reciprocate in
the future!
For now people,
I’d like to wish all of you a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Let’s all
meet next year. I wish you all life and God’s mercy to be able for all of us to
hold hands in 2013 and see it to its end, safe and sound.
