I remember when I first read The River and the Source. The
TV had just blown up and I was bored out of my mind. Bored children are a
nuisance to their parents so my mother gave me this book, which was the current
set book in high school at the time. I took it up immediately and I was
introduced to Akoko Obanda.
Akoko happens to be one of the strongest women characters I’ve
ever had the pleasure to meet. And I read extensively. She was a trail blazer
who, while respecting the culture of the land, was not afraid of the unknown. She
was beautiful, spirited and a formidable opponent. Her temper! Legen-wait for
it-dary! One of my favourite lines from her was, “I would not trust your uncle
Otieno although he is as black as the bottom of the pot I boil maize and beans
in.” If you’ve seen those big pots in the village and how darkened they are by
soot, you understand why that statement always cracks me up. She was the very
definition of fearless and I wanted to grow up and be just like her.
Ten years later and I still haven’t yet grown up! I’m 23
years old, still in school, still single and still staying in my mother’s house,
still relying on my father for my upkeep. I don’t know about you but that is the
very definition of a child. Which is worrisome because by this time Akoko was
married with her first child and dealing with her meddlesome in-laws. She’s not
the only one, because the percentage of girls in my age cohort that I found in
Ante-natal clinic, labour and maternity ward was overwhelmingly large. There’s
also a large number of my very own classmates from high school and primary who
are already moms as evidenced by the increasing number of baby photos as
profile pictures on facebook. It’s such a rollercoaster between a mushy moment
and a barf-fest. I’m sorry but it is, especially when they insist on shoving it
down our throats how happy they are how their babies are their best mistakes
and how the rest of us are missing out on the joys of motherhood. Sometimes I
think they try to convince us so that they can convince themselves. Don’t get
me wrong, I think it’s the bravest thing to have a child especially when you’re
still an adolescent and still figuring out life as you go along, but I would
rather see pictures of my friends going to amazing universities and doing amazing
jobs coming up with exquisite campaigns and being trailblazers in their own
fields, like Judy who is on her way to the Forbes list. If Akoko was around
today I’m sure she’d be heading her own company by now, I kid you not. Read
about her and tell me you don’t see her in that corner office.
Speaking about Akoko, it was a sad day in my life when I realised
I couldn’t be her. Why? Simple. I’m me. I can work just as hard but I like to
rest too. A recliner on a deck with an ocean view and a glass of Johnnie on the
rocks is my ultimate kickback day dream. I worry too much about my next move
and the idea of change can lead to a major mood storm before I conform. She was
a straight up go-getter, I have to talk to myself for days before I try a new
direction. Or I irrationally do something before my mind finds a way to negate
it. She followed through with all she did. I can’t even finish tooting that
horn before I lose interest. She looked at her husband dead in the eye when he
came to ask for her hand in marriage. I would hide myself behind a pot of
plants before I would let myself talk to someone I fancy, okay that was definitely
hyperbole. I wouldn’t hide but I do know there’s a beauty about walking on the
opposite side of the path. Akoko was the ultimate and I’m a work in progress.
A work in progress. A phrase that best describes where I am
right now. I do have my own vision of how the future me looks like. The doctor.
The wife. The mother. But I do remember a quote that mentioned God laughing at
our best laid plans. Judging from my past and present I’ve given him a bucket load
of laughs and I don`t think I’m about to stop any time soon! I’d figured by the
time I was in fourth year I would have settled so many sectors in my life. More
time spent at the hospital, literally living away from home, confident in my
medical skills done with the raeving scene and I would have at least that one
guy to always talk to about everything. Yet here I am, moved back home, not
sure if I’m making it to fifth year next year, still dropping branula lids and
not a love interest in sight.
That might seem like such a sorry state but I’m happy.
Confusing is it? I did say I was a work in progress, didn’t I? Let me paint a
picture for you. Picture your breaking point, now picture mine, my previous
post tries to colour it all out for you. I was miserable and my family was
worried. I stayed at home and within a few days I could feel the old Diana come
back. You know what I love about family? They know you but still can’t get rid
of you; they love you and build you up. I started to slowly come around and I
reconnected with my family and it became harder and harder to go back to Ngumo.
The house isn’t a bad incentive too. So I stayed.
Two was when my father fell sick. I rushed home to make sure
it wasn’t anything serious. Now I lost my uncle last year and calling it a
shock is an understatement. He died way before his time and right now my father
is the last surviving male in his nuclear family. He misses all his brothers
and father terribly. I am terrified that he might leave us unexpectedly just
like my uncle Chris. I stay at home to spend as much time as I can with him and
at least sleep knowing he’s just a few doors away. Plus he’s the best in terms
of giving advice, you know the older you are the wiser you become and so on and
so forth. The man works harder than anyone else I know, and that’s saying
something since I spend most of my days with academics and monkey see, monkey
do. I’m still waiting to reach my old man’s momentum though.
I fell in love with the hospital again, specifically
obstetrics, the non-examination part of course. I enjoyed that rotation, enough
to literally hang around pregnant women giving my pregophile tendencies free
reins. My only problem is why we don’t make enemas part of basic obstetric
care, like in a mini- section… no, I’m not letting it go! I still need to go
back and I’m not so worried because medicine is learnt and lived for a
lifetime.
The hallways at King Georges hospital have never stopped
being crazy and the fact there isn’t that one main guy to talk to doesn’t deter
me one bit! I’ve been blessed in another way that I’m now just beginning to
appreciate, all the boys, sorry men, who are not ashamed to call me their
friend! We can talk about anything, crack jokes and still sit down and study
seriously. I have a whole gang of male friends which for the first time in my life
feels a tad overwhelming. And cool. Really cool, it’s cold! Genuine bromances
are sweet to watch too and I get to see them daily, here’s to you Twiri and
Owen. If Akoko met all these men she’d have them as her friends too, though I’m
not sure whether it would be appropriate to her. She’d break the rules though,
because she’s that amazing! I should know, I hang out with them.
I like this post akoko wannabe...I believe you are doing better than most though.
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