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I read, but then I always wanted to write,
But I dont know where to start,
Or rather my thoughts don't arrange themselves properly,
Therefore I think my place in this world,
Was to be a reader,
We're also important,
For if no one read,
Then how would the writers,
Ever make an honest wage?

LOVE- Part One

I am a friend-confessed commitment phobic. I say friend because thats what they say. But I dont think so. I have relationships with my parents and siblings and since they haven't yet thrown me out of the house or their lives, I'm doing well there. Yes I feel a certain closeness with them and of course if someone wanted to hurt them they'd have to go through me first. And of course I have friends, am not that introversial. I really try hard to maintain my friendships which are just as hard to maintain as a sexual relationship. So now let me give you my friend's point of view now that I have tried to defend myself, well my track record is not really that good. Had no real boyfriend who actually lasted long enough to make such an impact. Have now refused two dudes who my friends call "nice guys" with reasons that are very solid to me, but to my friends are just mere excuses. So now am stumped because the dudes who I would love to date don't even look at me twice and yet you say that I'm just 'ringaing'.  OR maybe they're right. That  I lust or fall for people who are way out of my league because I am subconsiously aware that they would NEVER consider me so that somehow its not me with the problem. Or I am too lazy to want to deal with men because I have the emotional backbone of a child and I wouldnt be able to deal with it for a long while before I can wake up again. NAAAAAH, my friends are just exagerrating things.

MOTHER

The one person who brought me to this earth,
Wonder whether she was petrified by my sight,
Because she always seems so strong,
The biggest pillar and headache in my life.
Sometimes I want to break the rules,
To live on the other side of the line,
But then mother's words rush to my head,
And as much as I hate them, they rule me,
After all 'mother knows best',
I wonder whether it is possible,
To love and hate a person with equal measure,
For that is what she inspires in me,
So many tears on my pillow,
Yet its her approval I crave,
But I will never be the daughter she truly desires,
So I guess we'll have to both live with our disappointments,
My pillar, my headache.

Sauti Sol- Filosofia!

The second album from this amazing band is out and needless to say its awesome! They have a more mature vybe going on in this album and I say this with utmost confidence because I listened to both albums in order to make this verdict. I can't wait for their next album because Filosofia is a sign of many other great tracks to come from them! They aren't done yet!
Drum rolls... The track list!
1.Mbiguni-  Its a edgy beginning to the album, grabbing your attention from the word go. Has a fast catchy beat with lyrics that aren't bad. You will like this.
2. Malikia- Slow and sweet. These boys sure know the way to a woman's heart. You can't help but seriously think of putting your career plans on hold just so you'll give Chiamano his twins! :-)
3. Coming Home- For all those in long distance relationships, you'll definately identify with this ballad. You can actually hear the homesickness and their longing for their loved ones as they pour out their hearts in song. It's a song that tags at the heart strings.
4.Soma- A social awareness song that encourages the youth to take their education seriously (though with our latest crop of politicians am beginning to believe that maybe education isn't maybe the best option) You'll sing along to this track and dance your ass off during the bridge! And don't forget how catchy the chorus is!
5. Awinja- The guitar enthrals you from the beginning of the song and it will keep you in its clutches till the end of the song.There are strong vocals in this song and the harmony in their acapella is amazing. You'll enjoy it even if its in vernacular.
6.Bowane Lelisu- Another vernacular song which prooves that music traverses the borders of language. The harmony is beautiful here too. The guitar here by Edo Bumba also deserves mention because it gives the song a sweeter feel.
7. Nambee- Here the instruments take centre stage! Its a dance track. Totally upbeat.
8. L.A.D.Y- My favourite track in the whole album! a take-your-breath-away love song. Will bring a smile to your face as you sway with the song and will get you shouting yes I will be your b.a.b.y! N the use of electric guitar in a love song? ingenious!
9. ROW YOUR BOAT- Yes, its the nursery rhyme ( which makes me think of oh shit! Somali Pirates!) But relax, its not literally the whole rhyme. It actuall y talks about how they respect their fathers and how they want to emulate them when they grow up. You'll feel the presence of the bass and acoustic guitar but the instrument that made me take notice was the cello! And of course the voices! :-)
10. SOFIA-  I really feel the piano in this song. Its deep, maybe its because it stems from heartbreak. I would hate to be Sofia. There's a point where the electric guitar has this cool bridge as the dudes sing, giving the song more power.
11. PRIVATE SPICE-  Has an evident reggae feel. Wagwan you'll like the sugar and spice! The ladies who do the back up vocals are also really good.
12. SOL GENERATION- The last song in the album. Another social awareness song. It has strong vocals with heavy instrumentals. A revolutionary vybe about it!
Okay I'm not like an esteemed music critic so I really cant give you professional reviews but its what I feel. If you don't agree you can easily skip this post. Big ups to the producer Waweru! Honestly I wouldn't have been able to guess he was the producer, coz all my head can think of when someone mentions him is "mimi ni Waweru!, ni nani? ni Waweru!" :-)

moving!

just adding previously written articles so don't mind the excess posts today. Cheers! :-)

Beneathe the makeup

 Both visible and invisible, when you wipe it off and look at the mirror. Who do you see? Who you perceive as you or who others perceive as you? Do you look as pretty as you thought as you walked around the world? Can you finally be honest with yourself? Or is there still another mask you need to remove?

I don’t intend to apologise to who I see in the mirror. She knows me inside and out and knows that sometimes a wisecrack is better to hear than the truth.  That the fears that threaten to engulf me are fought off with a laugh coz after all it’s never that serious. 

Are you still seeing yourself without the make -up or have you screwed up your reality so much that the make- up mask still exists in your mind? When you smile, is it like the little people’s smile or the adult smile? At least after a whole day in playing one of the scenes in this play you call your life, you get to remove the actress face and converse with the one without the make- up. 

She understands me. I don’t think anyone else can claim that amazing fact, first because I always put my armour on before someone cracks the last code and two, because I am never able to articulate to someone exactly what I think. What’s in my brain is not what comes out from my mouth. And it doesn’t help matters that I react and respond to situations very slowly. My electric impulses take their sweet time in my neurons. It’s not an excuse, it’s the way I am.

Have you truly removed the make up? Check your essentials. Are you okay? Has someone left a dent on you? Do we need to fix that or leave it there for memory? Can you genuinely smile till your eyes twinkle or are you that jaded? Who do you see? You or what people see as you? Damn it! It’s so freaking hard! But you have to do this otherwise when you put the make-up back on, it’ll crack. And you have so many scenes to go through! You know that, so finish this routine check up!  

I am a bag of opposites. Most people see me as the hardest nut to crack and I thank God for that. If they knew the truth they would only take advantage and I would be left licking my wounds. Experience was always the best teacher and I learnt that the hard way.  Most see me as heartless and I again don’t bother to correct their misconception. They don’t need to know I probably emphathize  a bit too much for my own liking. It pains me when I can’t give the homeless what they ask for, but how sure am I they aren’t trying to scam me? Or that maybe all I have in my pocket is just enough to take me home? It pains me when I can’t love someone as much as they claim to love me, so I let them go. I would rather not put someone through a fake relationship because soon enough the pack of cards will fall and like the emperor who walked naked the shame will eat me alive. Because you found out. So I’d rather you moved on and it pains me because I know the rejection hurt you, but we must feel a bit of pain sometimes.  Right?  Right?

Smile at yourself one more time. Now put the make-up back on. It’s time for the next scene. 

I WANT TO GO ON A DATE

I want to go on a coffee date,

Smell  that seductive scent of coffee ,

And enjoy that heavenly piece of cake,

As we strike up conversation,

Eating up each other’s words,

As we try to impress each other,

You got to like me as much as I like you, right?

I want to go ice-skating,

When else will I see you at your physical worse,

As you try to best your total alpha male state,

Of course I won’t be any better,

And I probably will fall down twice as much,

But am sure it will look pretty funny,

When I try to stand up again and then act like nothing happened.

I want to go to a children’s home,

Surprise, surprise a kid’s home?

You win great points that date,

Because you’ve shown a side I didn’t know existed,

I’m humbled knowing how vain I am,

So we get down to work and help out,

And I pretend I didn’t see you hug the little girl to soothe her tears.

I want to go car racing,

Why not?

I want to see if I can beat you on the track,

Probably will become more competitive,

Coz I do want to beat your ass,

And soothe your bruised ego with a sweet kiss.

I want to go on a drive,

Take two or three hours of a day,

Stop at all the scenic view spots,

I‘ll wear my little shorts that day,

With sunglasses, top and sexy ankle boots,

And hope you’ll pay more attention to the road than my legs,

We’ve got to come back alive.

I want to go for a picnic,

At some silly public park,

And be one of those silly couples I used to make fun of,

Yeah, karma can be a bitch,

We’ll have packed lunches down to the fruits and juice,

And maybe a bit of wine for later,

You can doze on my lap as I ghost-draw your face,

Leave with the setting sun.

I want to do all those things,

But you aren’t here,

And I can’t sit around waiting for you,

So I add them to my bucket list,

And get my friends to join me and we’ll have a blast,

Still it would have been awesome to go on those dates with you! 

MALE IDEALISM

Most of the time, we (ladies) are usually accused of being highly idealistic when it comes to matters of the heart. Expecting a man to come sweep us off our feet, who’ll be the one whom we’ve been waiting for all our lives and we’ll understand why it didn’t work out with anyone else. Then comes the white wedding, kids and happily ever after. Blame Disney. I must admit that much as I am jaded, in a tiny remote place in my heart, I still believe in this. But that’s a story for another day.

Men, or boys, whatever suits your fancy, are just as idealistic as us. Figured that out recently. They want the girl who reminds of their mother. The girl who can whip up a king’s meal and never complain about dishes afterward. “I’ll do it hun, don’t worry. Here’s the remote, I hear there’s an exciting football match today.” The girl who looks the same after ten-plus years of marriage from the first day you met her. The girl who is flawless, the epitome of servitude and her mind a blank page with which to educate her on how to best serve you. Lets not forget- a lady in the street but a ‘freak’ in bed.

YEAH RIGHT! Show me such a girl and I’ll show you a freaking good actress. Like the idea of a freak in bed, you do know to reach such a level means practice was involved. A LOT. Yet most men still want to marry the ever elusive virgin. Are we seeing a contradiction here?

Dance! Dance!

Now most of my friends know I like music, love dancing and a bit of liquor here and there, okay am a party animal. And when you land in the club, be assured the place you’ll find me is on the dance floor, having the time of my life. Now, the only problem with the dance floor is the number of horny men trying to grab at your assets, or grind on you or literally have you on the dance floor. The situation can go from irritating to maddening within minutes for any girl. What happened to respecting my personal space? Is it so hard to ask a girl if you want to dance with her? Then it hit me, do they really see us as ladies, as someone’s future wife or mother? Or do they just see as the means to a end- an orgasmic experience? 

yeah, that sounds about right.

For the record, just because am I’m in the club, doesn’t mean I’m dying to dance with you, make-out with you or go home with you. I came to have fun! Sometimes it may include the opposite sex, and most of the time I just want to have fun with the girls. I know some dudes come with only one thing in mind- pussy hunting, and that’s cool with me because I know some dudettes are also looking for an easy lay. Two do play at that game. But if you get rejected for heaven sake, don’t make it look like the girl had a personal vendetta against you so it becomes your new-found goal to stalk and insult her! Just bow out gracefully and move on.

Party!

If you do a poll of all the boys and men who go out, most will tell you they would not marry a girl who goes out, yet the fact that I go out is just a minor aspect in my personality. Such a minor aspect that it becomes hilarious that you’d use that as a determining factor. Am not saying we are all angels in disguise but it’s not fair to judge a book by its cover.  And if the female species cancelled out every man that drinks, or parties I think we’d have very many unhappy single people, don’t you think?