Both visible and invisible, when you wipe it off and look at the mirror. Who do you see? Who you perceive as you or who others perceive as you? Do you look as pretty as you thought as you walked around the world? Can you finally be honest with yourself? Or is there still another mask you need to remove?
I don’t intend to apologise to who I see in the mirror. She knows me inside and out and knows that sometimes a wisecrack is better to hear than the truth. That the fears that threaten to engulf me are fought off with a laugh coz after all it’s never that serious.
Are you still seeing yourself without the make -up or have you screwed up your reality so much that the make- up mask still exists in your mind? When you smile, is it like the little people’s smile or the adult smile? At least after a whole day in playing one of the scenes in this play you call your life, you get to remove the actress face and converse with the one without the make- up.
She understands me. I don’t think anyone else can claim that amazing fact, first because I always put my armour on before someone cracks the last code and two, because I am never able to articulate to someone exactly what I think. What’s in my brain is not what comes out from my mouth. And it doesn’t help matters that I react and respond to situations very slowly. My electric impulses take their sweet time in my neurons. It’s not an excuse, it’s the way I am.
Have you truly removed the make up? Check your essentials. Are you okay? Has someone left a dent on you? Do we need to fix that or leave it there for memory? Can you genuinely smile till your eyes twinkle or are you that jaded? Who do you see? You or what people see as you? Damn it! It’s so freaking hard! But you have to do this otherwise when you put the make-up back on, it’ll crack. And you have so many scenes to go through! You know that, so finish this routine check up!
I am a bag of opposites. Most people see me as the hardest nut to crack and I thank God for that. If they knew the truth they would only take advantage and I would be left licking my wounds. Experience was always the best teacher and I learnt that the hard way. Most see me as heartless and I again don’t bother to correct their misconception. They don’t need to know I probably emphathize a bit too much for my own liking. It pains me when I can’t give the homeless what they ask for, but how sure am I they aren’t trying to scam me? Or that maybe all I have in my pocket is just enough to take me home? It pains me when I can’t love someone as much as they claim to love me, so I let them go. I would rather not put someone through a fake relationship because soon enough the pack of cards will fall and like the emperor who walked naked the shame will eat me alive. Because you found out. So I’d rather you moved on and it pains me because I know the rejection hurt you, but we must feel a bit of pain sometimes. Right? Right?
Smile at yourself one more time. Now put the make-up back on. It’s time for the next scene. 
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